Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
