So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize