So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
