She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Less talking, more tequila
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
