dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
