i permit you to call me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
