how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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