It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
