My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
