i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
