oh god the rape fog is back!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
