I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
