You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
