I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
