I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize