i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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