I look better un-naked...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
