the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
