They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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