i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
