i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
