genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
