plz talk dirty to me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
