im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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