Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
