Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
