my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
