I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
thus making me awesome and them whores
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
