i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
