I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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