So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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