vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
3 2 1 whiskey
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
