operation harelip BJ is a go
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize