You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
