thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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