I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
