OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
