Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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