yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize