Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
