when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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