Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My breasts were aching with rage.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
