I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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