If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
