Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
