I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
