Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
