I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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