I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Actions speak louder than pants.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
