is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Panties = found
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize