yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
