Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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