Porn is love you can see.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
