I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Randomize
