we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
