this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize