Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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