so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
