Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
