The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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