thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
